Happy New Year.

Resolute. I am absolutely resolute 2008 will be a wonderful year, because no matter what happens, I am going to embrace and accept it. We are so fortunate but in reality resolutions are just another way for us to focus on what we aren't instead of what we are. We are always trying to be smarter, calmer, thiner, smarter, nicer.... the list goes on. Not that improving oneself is a bad thing, but I think that sometimes we just need to reflect on what we did achieve and what we are proud of about where we are. I did refocus on my health and i lost 45 pounds and my children never called it a diet. They called me a health nut. I started exercising and I picked up tennis again. I took pride in my home, my family and myself. Next year, Iwant to keep it up.... and maybe return my phone calls faster.

Here Today, Gone Tomorrow

Well, another Christmas Eve come and gone. We went to church, opened presents, set up for Christmas Day and we are ready to turn in. I spent allot of the day cooking. I made cookie dough but we didn't make the cookies because we ran out of time. I made pound cake, and frankly, it tastes pretty bad. Next year, I will remind myself, very little I cook turns out like I would like. But as quickly as it goes, I still enjoy it all. I hope I am helping mark some memories for those in my life. I hope it makes the holidays special for the people I love. I know we are so blessed to have friends, family and loves ones near to celebrate and they remain long after the packages are passed out. Our minister had a sermon about re-gifting. He spoke of re-gifting the gifts of love, friendships, forgiveness, blessing, and of course, sharing God's word, but it made the most sense this holiday season. Give the gifts that really mean something to someone... a smile, an ear, a touch, a hand, or perhaps patience, biting your tongue, holding the careless or hurtful remark. I hope i slowed down a little. My useless cake and frozen cookie dough are a reminder, i didn't get it as right as i would have liked to. But i bought paper plates for breakfast:)

Teenager in theHouse

While I might be in a bit of a rant, I am very tired of my soon to be 13 year old. She is a great little person, smart, pretty and kind to people (who don't live with her) and generally has her head about her. But i am so tired of her acting like she is entitled to all the riches in the world and we are only there to provide what she needs. We try everything and yet, still she approaches us with disdain. It is driving me crazy. I want to have the courage to just take everything away and make her earn back every privilege. Somehow, I think the message will be lost. Maybe the deal is not letting her have any more privileges. How do we get her to earn? How do we get her to buy into accomplishing her own goals? Am I expecting too much of her? Do I just let her be who she is and let her make her mistakes and pay for them. She doesn't seem to want or heed our direction. I wonder if I just stop even trying.

Holiday Haze

Well, 9 days until Christmas. Today, we had a coffee for a neighbor and friend who is leaving and moving to California the 28th. The whole week has flown by. My foot is healing. There was a party on Thursday, a relaxing time Friday, Saturday we planned and cooked, cleaned and watched the rain. Today was all ready for the party and the party. It was nice people took time to come say goodbye and I was glad that we all took time to throw the party. I finished Christmas shopping. I pushed hard and I am so tired but I wanted every night this week to be a little slower so we can savor Christmas. Next weekend, we will go to Spartanburg and then Monday and Tuesday we can relax as a family. But definitely the last week of work was the worst. No Christmas spirit there.
We tried to cut back a little on the kids this year since they really need to understand a little more that Christmas is about more than gifts. Our son delivered the gifts to the toy drive. But we don't know about our nine year old. He might still believe so we want to keep all the traditions and make that Christmas morning exciting. Through all the work, it is still is a wonderful season. I can't wait to have two days off with the family.

July for Christmas

Well, it certainly feels like it. It is almost 80 degrees here and 14 days before Christmas. Not much chance of a White Christmas I fear. My broken ankle aside, it feels like Christmas is a fiction to some degree. Warm weather just makes me postpone the holiday mentally. I hope it cools down to an acceptable temperature soon.

In the meantime, we shop, celebrate, reflect and plan. My office is buzzing with deadlines. Custody issues complicate the holidays for so many. It really is a shame. People have such a hard time with a family cease fire. I truly don't see why we should expect world peace when two people who made a baby can't co-exist.

Well, I am back to dueling pens to counter another undeserved attack on a client. The pain pills don't dull this type of ache and pain. My ankle is the least of my problems.

Another day in bed

Working from home has its challenges.  I have been so busy but feel behind because everything takes more effort.  Plus, I am so tired of sitting.  But, I took a shower and i have seen the kids briefly every afternoon which is nice.  Tonight, they will move me downstairs to the den to see the tree and fireplace and maybe another Christmas special.  Technology  is great.  I will be less behind when i get back to the office.  But on the other hand, isn't is sad you can't be ill or hurt and just concentrate on getting better.  If you can do anything, you are certainly expected to.  Very few boundaries anymore.  Why should I feel guilty for not working when a doctor wrote a note telling me not to work for three days.  Yeah, like I was able to do that.  

Stopped in my tracks!

What a week.  Last week, I finished up a grueling week at work with a great dinner and my favorite annual ritual... decorating our Christmas Tree.  I love it.  Watching the children open boxes of ornaments and argue about who puts the angel on the tree, just means the world to me.  I never want it to end.  This year, Dad helped with the process.  In some years past, he waited for us to unveil.  This year he monitored my lighting and the children's' placement of ornaments and it was great fun.  Saturday was a whirlwind.  We took our daughter to a Bat Mitzvah, a horse show and then a big dress evening diner and dance related to the Mitzvah.  She looked so grown up.  I couldn't believe how she has grown.  She showed amazing poise when her horse show didn't turn out as she planned and she looked so lovely leaving for her party.   But, Sunday was as big of a deal as Saturday.  It was the first Sunday of Advent.  I let the girl sleep in as she was out so late, so she and Dad missed services and came for Sunday School.  I love all of the Christmas Advent services.  It is good to take lots of time to remember why we celebrate. ..how it all started.    Then Mom and Mom in Law came to celebrate Moms birthday with lunch and some Christmas shopping.  A lovely and long day.  Then, I got knocked on my butt.... literally.  Running around getting everything ready for school and work, i fell down the stairs.  Fortunately, i only suffered a bad sprain... not a break.  

Needless to say, it ground me and everyone around me to a halt.  I had to take off work.  Todd had to delay all of his work and take me to the emergency room. Stephanie had to miss piano and get Clay to the bus.  Everyone at work had to shift and cover.  But everyone came together.  I got to see my sitter in action that afternoon.  I watched as Stephanie took over dinner and waited on me without complaint.  I needed that after watching her behave in a most entitled manner on Sunday.  It made me feel good to watch her shift priorities with no gain in sight for her.  I guess we don't require it enough of her to make it a habit.  It was so great to know she can put others first and cheerfully.  Clay was a doting fellow.  The short of it, we all had to focus on each other for awhile.  And frankly, it was a good for me to be unable to do for them for a day.  I love to take care of my family.  I like to do it well.  But I overdo it and then  stressed out, I seem to cancel out my efforts by becoming cranky and short.  As much as my ankle hurts, I have enjoyed the efforts made by my family.  They have taken wonderful care of me.  And possibly enjoyed doing for themselves a little.  Plus, not being able to do laundry and clean, means I have been watching Christmas specials with my kids.  Yeah Rudolph.    I love that little misfit.

I certainly feel like one week after week.  Especially after this strange week.  I may be on my feet again soon.

Time Flies

Well, it has been a whirl. A great Thanksgiving trip but a very fast and furious return to work. Tonight i finally had time this week to sit with the children for a little while. I love unscripted unplanned moments to share. They really are so much fun. I hope I can remember to make time everyday for their little growing minds.

Happy Thanksgiving

Well, we drove Monday Night, and most of Tuesday to get to Michigan. Tuesday Night we went to the Fall out Boys concert. Stephanie's first concert. Wednesday, we slept a little late and went shopping. Today, we ate a wonderful meal with our friends. This is the first Thanksgiving without Family. A little unusual and not really Thanksgiving, but a wonderful time. It snowed. A snowing Thanksgiving. I walked and enjoyed the snow covered scenery. The kids are having a blast. I spoke to all of my family members today. Mom and Dottie were with Doug and Liz. Dad was with Georgianna. I spoke to them all. We ate entirely too much and cooked all day. Then we reviewed all of the sale papers.

Favorite Time of the Year

Official Start of Holiday Shopping Season. I purchased gifts and saw Santa three times. Of course, I didn't stop. Last year, I barely got anyone on Santa's lap. know this year, the only way the kids will join him is if their Dad and I jump in too for a family picture. I had no idea how much I would miss the hushed excitement of seeing them going to whisper those much dreamed of toys in his ear. I will never forget the year my little boy took the Thomas the Train gift book with him so Santa would understand. I know he will not even look for him this year. I am sure someone spilled the beans.

My daughter and I went to the Christmas Show in town. We only stayed about three hours. it was all our feet and pocket books could tolerate. But this annual ritual for her and I is fun. We know where we want to go and what we want to see. Missing it, well, it just wouldn't seem right. I had a ton of other things to do, as evidenced by blogging at 11:30, but it was fun as usual. She is maturing so, it is completely different from all of those parents tugging kids in strollers, half asleep through the aisles. So as the Christmas music rang and all the vendors made change, I looked at the tall blue eyed blond next to me and wondered where the little girl on Santa's Knee went. You see, I lived for the Christmas season with the children. I was more excited than they were to watch them experience the lights, bake cookies, wrap presents and make that important list and trip to Santa, I had the Christmas sweaters and cards. As they move beyond it a little more every year, I grow older. Somehow, they took me back with them every time but it was even better. It was my dream Christmas every year, but through them. This year it seems a little muted and a little quiet. But maybe this year, it will be more focused on the spirit. More focused on the meaning and more focused on each other instead of just the children. It will be different. Not a dream Christmas anymore. But a time to at all of my "gifts" with eyes wide open. Hopefully, I made some memories for them. I know they made them for me. Next week, I get to break out the holiday music. You see, I won't do it until after Thanksgiving. And I will drive around looking for the brightest light displays in town. December, is the best Month out of the entire year.

November Blur

Well, today is the 17th of November. In two days, we travel to Michigan to visit with friends for the holiday. We have never left family for Thanksgiving, but we are using this break to travel. What surprises me most, is that the month just began. I just cleared Halloween candy and decorations from the house. Now, one week and I will be putting up the Christmas Tree and marking the end of another year and another Christmas. I remember when it took forever for it to be Christmas. I don't know how time has managed to speed up so. We turn around and the children are four inches taller. I can't even begin to tell you all the growth we witness. In any event, as I try to slow down time, I try to slow down me and everyone else in the family. The only one I know who manages to take it slow some days is my husband and he claims time passes him by just as quickly. Maybe it is a state of mind. Maybe, it is the way we all rush to fill our days or accomplish something. My children always ask why they have to make the bed when they will get back in it every night. I never have a good answer, just, "do it." It looks neater and keeps dirt and stuff out of the sheets. Maybe they actually have a point. Perhaps we should quit cutting the grass since it just grows back, or washing the car since it will get dirty. We could take it to extremes. But it does seem that we do repeat the same tasks over and over again and in doing so, mark time. I fill my days with work and errands and tasks and "to dos". Perhaps, random days of doing nothing should be established. I am thinking maybe one day a month, I just disappear and let the dust collect and everyone else eat fast food and wear dirty clothes. Maybe they can even leave their beds unmade all day. I will never do it, but at least I am thinking about it.

Family on a Pre Thansgiving Friday

The air is cold and we are facing the holiday season. I love holidays. I love the whole month of December. I love all the lights and the stores full of people and the music. But it is also a time to reflect on how blessed our family is and to turn our thoughts to the families and individuals who see this time of year and feel hollow and alone. I feel so happy to have healthy children growing strong. I have a loving and kind husband who puts his family before everything. As a divorce lawyer, I cannot tell you how much I appreciate that part of my life. Every year, I plan to do something beyond my safe world and traditions and reach out. Every year I fail to do so. I wonder if i can manage to do more than Salvation Army Stockings and Angel Trees this year.
I always heard you can tell what the politicians will do by following the money in their campaign contributions. Last night, Biden said that all you have to do is look at someone's budget to see their priorities. I agree. But i think time is also an indicator. If we follow our money and our calendars, I think we get a snapshot of how we are living our priorities. I would like to get mine more in line with my heart.
This weekend, Ihelp my mother move things after her ex hsuabnd picks up his last funiture and my son has his last soccer game. Plus, I get to go to the theater with my husband. So far, so good. Of course, to be honnest, i do hope to fit a manicure in too.

Politics, Debates and Polls

There is no particular reason I started this blog. Mostly, I have been fascinated with the concept and wondered what makes anyone start and maintain a blog. I do enjoy reading other blogs, mostly about current events, but I think I will just ramble on about my ordinary life. It is an election year and polls interest me. I have never been called or polled by anyone at any time since I registered to vote. I will admit, my first Presidential Election, I voted for Carter. Can't remember why, I just remember that is who I voted for. This was before I was old enough to vote. It was a mock school election. Needless to say, I was in college before my first opportunity to vote came along in 1984. Not much of a race. Even then, I was curious about how the voters and polls could have such a strong effect on turn out and what the candidates did and said. I mean, I know there are great crowds of people and money involved. It must be very difficult to just be who you want to be and let the chips fall where they may with billions of dollars and special interests groups around. I think all of us ever want to know, is what they really want to say, not what they think we want to hear. I am not registered for either party. I am unaffiliated because I think you have to Judge each candidate and each election on its own. I am watching the debates on CNN right now. I want to learn something about these people. It seems the ones with the least to gain and least to loose are the most frank. I know he doesn't have a chance, but I love to hear Biden. In reality, I just want to get some feel for who they are and how will they make decisions. I don't think anyone knows how they will be as President until they get there. I think it is like parenthood. You just don't understand it until you experience it. I have to admit, the impressive thing about Giuliani, is that he finally says, I am Republican, I personally support choice and gay rights and deal with it. They all need to learn. We pick our priority and we vote. But mostly, we want effective leadership and someone who can govern not dictate his or her personal policy. Oh well. Enough. Time to go make lunches for school tomorrow and start another load of laundry.