Karma

Today, I went to Court in one of my cases. A young woman with no children who earns about same income as her estranged husband separated this spring. This man annoyed me early on in the case. The legal issues are simple. Divide what little property and debt they have and move on. There was a house, two cars, two credit cards, a small savings account and a tax refund. In my world, that is a simple divorce.

But of course, it did not stay that way. He left her for a co-worker, but blamed it on her. He took the car he had driven in the marriage, moved in with the girlfriend in a furnished apartment, posted their pictures all over My Space, and he told my client on My Space to get over it and act her weight. He went back into their house when she was at work and took things. He took their escrow refund check off the the front steps without telling her and cashed it. He kept failing to pay the car payment on the car he was driving effectively forcing her to pay it to protect her credit. Finally, after failing to pay the property taxes on his car, failing to renew tags and registration, and claiming he could not pay for it, he dropped the car off at my office (in one hour parking) with the keys and went and bought a new car with almost the same payment. My client, totally broke, was forced to just let it sit and the payments fall behind while she paid for her car, the house, the credit card and all the bills related to the house on just her income and what she could borrow from her parents.

The Judge today required him to be responsible for the car since May 29,2008 and to take care of taxes, insurance and payments. He ordered him to repay her the $851 dollars he took and to pay for some of her legal fees. And to sign over the income tax return check to her immediately.

I deal with people behaving badly every day. Worse, I deal with people who behave badly and feel justified for behaving badly every day. Most of the time, I do not see a court case in terms of winning and loosing. Usually, the decisions made by Judges in my cases are a resolution that is a mix of what you wanted and what you did not not to happen. In a divorce, no one is satisfied no matter the ruling. A Judge almost never does really say anything to satisfy. They are so numb to the behavior.

But today, I took pleasure in the outcome. I was gratified that this Judge took time to tell him he was wrong to leave everything in her lap. I am sure there are people who like this guy. I am sure he has a side in the story of the break up. I like my client's to gain a result favorable to them while I usually take little satisfaction in someone else loosing. Today it meant the world to me to watch him walk out of that room with nothing that he wanted. It meant almost as much as watching my client smile for the first time since I met her. Someone finally told her that she did not deserve his treatment. Perhaps that is wrong... to reveal in the discomfort of someone else. But today, it felt right.

Suspended in Space

Man has always liked to explore and reach. The search for flight and then outer space are testaments to this. I have had some experience with flight. When I was in law school, I decided to take sky diving classes. The experience or logic of leaping out of a fully functioning plane on purpose can not be fully explained, so I will not try. However, after climbing out the door and grabbing the bar on underside of the wing, and letting myself hang parallel to the plane for position, I let go. It is hard to feel like you are falling when nothing seems to be below you. For a moment, you know you are moving and your heart is beating so fast you can hear nothing else. Then the parachute opens and your descent slows. You are floating. And there is nothing but silence. True silence, unlike anything you have experienced. Then you let go of everything else and simply hang somewhere between the sky and the earth and try to absorb everything you see and wonder if this is what God sees. I know that this is what moves people to climb mountains, take up hand gliding and learn to fly planes. The peace is broken when the noise of the world below returns and you must prepare not to crash into the ground or utility wires or lakes and ponds.

The rush and adrenaline is amazing. You experience such complete and opposing sensations from fear and excitement to a peace that will move you to tears. I will never forget the experience. Of course I gave it up when the time came for me to be responsible for packing my own chute and jumping without the zip chord that guaranteed my chute will open. Leave it to me to try to make being a dare devil safe.

It is amazing that I can not approach my personal life, or my professional life with the same abandon that it took to jump out of a plane. I make safe choices trying to avoid unwanted or unexpected consequences. While there is something to be said for the conservative approach, there is a life out there that only the bold know. For every horrible failure, there are moments of pure joy that they could never have imagined. Clearly at some point that adventurous person existed in me. I have seen it. But life taught me to be cautious somewhere. As I spend time with my 90 year old Grandmother, I realize that more than likely I could have half of my life in front of me. I still have time to be bold, take risks and savor the results. But more than that, I have time to let my children be bold. I pray that I am not the one that teaches them that they should play it safe in life. How I teach them to care for themselves and stay safe without teaching them to fear their own lives, I do not know.

But God willing, I can help them feel the thrill someday of being suspended between heaven and earth. To be in a place they never dreamed.... to experience a joy and peace beyond imagination, all without jumping out of a plane. Instead, I hope they jump into whatever they feel they can be. But first, I will have to show them I can do it.

Clay and the terrible, horrible, no good ,very bad day.

No Rice Crispies this morning. Too many cars to throw the football while waiting on the school bus. No water bottle in lunch box. Test on 75 words that someone forgot to study for. Guitar practice as soon as he gets home and off the school bus. No snack. Social studies homework takes a very long time and there is a spelling test too. Mom makes yucky homemade pizza. Dad checks grades on parent assist and isn't happy. Mom checks all his homework and makes him redo study guide. Too dark now to go throw the football with Dad. So grouchy that he is sent to bed early. So grouchy he can't fall asleep. And he is sure that the book fair will sell all the books he wants... very badly..... and there are only two....... before I get home from work to take him.

Good night my little guy. Tomorrow can always be better.

Spooking

Our neighborhood has a little Halloween tradition. Someone rings your doorbell and drops a bag or basket of treats on your doorstep and runs away. There is a note in the bag wishing you a Happy Halloween and directing you to go and spook two other households. This is a big deal. As soon as we get spooked, I am always sent off to Wal-Mart for goodies. Some years, the spook comes early. Some years, I fear I am going to have to borrow a neighbor's sign and go spook myself to get the game started. But always the fateful doorbell rings. And then the deliberation begins. Who shall we spook? We consider the age and number of the children. Then we perform reconnaissance missions to determine whether there is street lighting, motion sensitive security lighting, shrubbery or trees to hide behind, dogs in the yard, or high traffic. Once we have carefully considered the obstacles to a successful spook, we must pick the correct night and time. You see, the residents must be home to answer the door. We can't leave the treats to be taken by wild animals. We must have cover of darkness, but not wait so late that we disturb bedtimes or upset parents with the doorbell. When the time comes, we set off. Sometimes we are on foot and sometimes we drive without the lights and park a distance away from our target. The more challenging the more fun. We have even dared to face off against sprinklers. So far we have never been caught. We have hid in trees, beside houses, behind cars and behind play sets. We are undefeated and delighted.

Tonight, despite a few mishaps, we have again successfully dumped treats on our friends under cover of darkness. Sure, the kids are not letting me choose the tree I hide behind for myself in the future, and yes, we will have to make sure SOMEONE puts the notes in the bags instead of on the counter in the kitchen. And maybe next year we can chose a house that does not water at 8:30 p.m.. But we will be back.

Election Woes

I always vote. Every year, local or national. I do think it is important. It was interesting to note that as divided as the country is, political correctness has bleached the dialogue between neighbors and friends. One friend, who lives in our neighborhood and is from Germany, commented on how funny it was that no one would say in mixed groups who they were voting for. It is so true. When I get bulk e-mails from someone I know in a group that suggests voting for one candidate or the other, I am surprised and wonder at their " Bravado" and then wait for the flurry of replies. But upon reflection, the opinions of those around me would be the most interesting. I spend my days with quite accomplished people from my neighborhood, church and office. Their positions and thoughts should inspire a deliberate decision.
I do not know what we are afraid will happen. Larry King had Maria Shriver on last night and she proudly supports Obama despite her husband. She discussed how it actually was good for her children to grow up and learn how to have respectful disagreements about politics and to be involved. Frankly, it would be good for all of us. One thing for sure. You never can predict and it takes more than one to run this government.

Pumpkin Spice Latte

I woke up very easily this morning. I went downstairs in my chilled house and turned on the gas logs. I then fixed coffee and sat in front of the fireplace to enjoy the first cold morning of fall. I love this time of year. We don't turn on the heat until we need in during the daylight hours so for a little while our home is chilled air first thing in the day and I love it. I made a pot of grits for breakfast and put everyone in jackets. On the way to work, I stopped at Starbucks and bought my seasonal favorite... Pumpkin Spice Latte, non fat of course. It was the best Monday morning I have had in ages. Oh yes, and i do also believe in the Great Pumpkin and all holiday specials scheduled to air for the rest of the year. So drink up, y'all.

Last Debate

I can not even bring myself to watch this one. Neither man is saying anything new. It is almost like a cat fight. To be honest, I expect more from McCain. What happened to statesmanship? Sarcasm has not place in a serious debate. I expect both men will have the full disposal of the brightest and most experiences people in every area if they get elected. They will need to be able to listen, learn, set aside preconceived notions and make decisions. They will need to be able to take responsibility for the decisions they make. Right now neither of them are looking too good. I hate the last part of a race. It is all about winning. I do like the split screen CNN is showing so you can watch the reactions. Is this how McCain would react to world leaders who disagree with him? Does Obama plan on smirking at Putin? Good Lord.

Debates

I watched the VP debates last night. I feel we got to see a good outline of the differences between the two men running for president. Both VP candidates stayed on their man's message. I am a registered independent. I have both conservative and liberal views of life and politics. I bet most Americans feel as I do. We don't fit into a demographic or category.
I have respect for Bidden and McCain. I also feel that someone who always opposed the war and wants to have dialogues when possible is a good change from Bush who doesn't dialogue with anyone with whom he disagrees, as far as I can see. He is never transparent because he doesn't want to be questioned.

I see the biggest differences being in the war. I also think for the first time, average people are understanding the differences in the economic philosophies that the two parties hold and the concrete realities of these differences. Both parties want to fix economy and health care but have strikingly different ways of handling it. I must admit, today, I do not think $250,000.00 is wealthy. Maybe we need to define middle class. There is a big difference between $250,000.0 and Steve Jobs and Bill Gates.

We can't afford to pull our of the mess that exist in Iraq. I know that Obama knows this. We have to maintain a presence. However, we can't act like the power that we once could, we are global in all respects now. China has made in roads with places by buying influence. Give them money and don't tell them how to act. these people owe them now. Russia senses a change and they are flexing too because they know we can't do anything about them. They know that Middle East will deal with anyone and China and Russia are ready to step up to the place so these countries don't have to deal with the US of A to get what they want. Michael Ware always says that he wants to hear the plans for what the candidates will do to pull out and avoid vacuum. I would at least like to see them talking to someone about what they would do? Who would be on their cabinets? Who are their advisers. I wish they had let Ware submit questions. They should.