Suspended in Space

Man has always liked to explore and reach. The search for flight and then outer space are testaments to this. I have had some experience with flight. When I was in law school, I decided to take sky diving classes. The experience or logic of leaping out of a fully functioning plane on purpose can not be fully explained, so I will not try. However, after climbing out the door and grabbing the bar on underside of the wing, and letting myself hang parallel to the plane for position, I let go. It is hard to feel like you are falling when nothing seems to be below you. For a moment, you know you are moving and your heart is beating so fast you can hear nothing else. Then the parachute opens and your descent slows. You are floating. And there is nothing but silence. True silence, unlike anything you have experienced. Then you let go of everything else and simply hang somewhere between the sky and the earth and try to absorb everything you see and wonder if this is what God sees. I know that this is what moves people to climb mountains, take up hand gliding and learn to fly planes. The peace is broken when the noise of the world below returns and you must prepare not to crash into the ground or utility wires or lakes and ponds.

The rush and adrenaline is amazing. You experience such complete and opposing sensations from fear and excitement to a peace that will move you to tears. I will never forget the experience. Of course I gave it up when the time came for me to be responsible for packing my own chute and jumping without the zip chord that guaranteed my chute will open. Leave it to me to try to make being a dare devil safe.

It is amazing that I can not approach my personal life, or my professional life with the same abandon that it took to jump out of a plane. I make safe choices trying to avoid unwanted or unexpected consequences. While there is something to be said for the conservative approach, there is a life out there that only the bold know. For every horrible failure, there are moments of pure joy that they could never have imagined. Clearly at some point that adventurous person existed in me. I have seen it. But life taught me to be cautious somewhere. As I spend time with my 90 year old Grandmother, I realize that more than likely I could have half of my life in front of me. I still have time to be bold, take risks and savor the results. But more than that, I have time to let my children be bold. I pray that I am not the one that teaches them that they should play it safe in life. How I teach them to care for themselves and stay safe without teaching them to fear their own lives, I do not know.

But God willing, I can help them feel the thrill someday of being suspended between heaven and earth. To be in a place they never dreamed.... to experience a joy and peace beyond imagination, all without jumping out of a plane. Instead, I hope they jump into whatever they feel they can be. But first, I will have to show them I can do it.