Gone... with no reason.

In 1999, we sold our home in Cotswold. A neighbor had a friend who had always liked the look of the house. She saw it and made an offer. I had a toddler and a 4 year old. I had to keep the house clean for 1 day. I was thrilled. We moved to Hembstead. My only complaint with the new owner of my little home was that she tore out the boxwood shrubs we had so carefully nurtured back to health. She was moving her Mother in to care for her they lived there alone. She felt it was dangerous. Someone could hide behind them given how large they were and where they were located in front of the house.

She nursed her Mom through her death, moved on with her life, still lived in "my" home. My oldest Charlotte friend and reliable confidant still lives two doors down from my old home. So when Janet, its new owner disappeared on Sunday after dining with friends at the Liberty East, she called me. As the information has come to light, she has called. So I was so saddened to hear her body had been found not far from where her car was found days after her disappearance. The details are unknown, but it appears she was in the area related to her business and ran afoul of the wrong person/people. It took me back to the bushes. She was a careful and thoughtful person, who considered her surroundings and took heed for her safety. But it was not enough to save her in broad day light from someone who meant her harm. I feel vulnerable hearing of her death. I feel mortal. And yet, I feel resigned. We must do what we can to be safe... "Don't be a Victim" and all. But we have to live, love and give freely everyday.

A lesson can be taken from Janet's life. She was laughing with friends and headed to a family meal that last day. She spoke to her boyfriend and she went for food for her beloved pet. She was living right up to the end. And I hope she felt safe in the sunshine and did not see anything coming. I hope she felt no fear. I hope her family finds peace and answers. And I hope they can refocus on her life.... and not the manner of her death. I hope we all can focus on our lives and reach out to those around us.

God rest her soul and be with her family and friends again as they grieve anew.

Valentine's Day IS special.

The girl who does my nails, asked me what I was doing for Valentine's Day. Her response when I told her my husband had made dinner reservations at Fleming's, was, "Oh, what are you going to wear?". She is around 30 years old. I laughed when I told my husband that story. I did a good job applying fresh lipstick after working all day and taking Stephanie to her piano lesson. But as I walked through the restaurant that night, looking at all the couples in cocktail attire, sitting close and feeding one another dinner, I realized, it is a pretty great occasion. Not a bad reason to get dressed up and go out. Sure, it benefits florists, Hallmark, and Godiva more than anything, but an occasion to remember to tell someone you love them, is not all bad.

After over 20 years, Todd and I still remember the day with at least a card and dinner.. sometimes, gifts. But in our house, Valentine's Day is sandwiched between both of our birthdays and our anniversary. We tend to focus on the anniversary more than Valentine's Day. But the real opportunity of the day, is to share love with the ones around you. Valentine's Day tends to make those without romantic attachments feel alone. That is all the more reason to call friends and family who are important, wish them a Happy Valentine's Day, and make them feel loved.

Maybe next year I will go get a new dress. I suppose the occasion is only as special as you make it. And given my daily discourse with broken hearts, I should be an advocate for any opportunity to remind someone that they do matter and they are loved.

This is my kind of place.

I am sitting at Cabo Fish Taco. The gallery crawl is not until Friday night, but Stephanie is taking an art class at the Green Gallery in NoDa, so here I sit. I have already gone into two galleries and a shop. Even though it is not crowded, there is an energy to this area. The lights, the buzz, the people in dreadlocks next to the ones in Northface. I think the DNC got it right. Charlotte has a great deal to offer the people who come. Several arts districts, great food, suburbs and glitz, museums and a very shiny uptown.

If I had to make a list of where to take visitors, I would suggest the following, in no particular order.

Go walk the Plaza/Central area, enjoy Zada Jane's for brunch.

Visit the National Whitewater Center when they have summer bands.

Go see the Pops play at South Park.

Book at table at Zebra after a day of shopping at the South Park Mall.

Go check out the growing campus of UNCC and visit the observatory.

Drive through Myers Park and go to Freedom Park.

Walk the Greenway.

Go to McCoy's Saloon and Smokehouse and then go shoot arrows and the Barefoot Archery range to work off the mac n cheese.

Take the light rail and see the Mint, Bechtler, Harvey Gantt, New South and Discovery Place. Take breaks at Mertz Heart and Soul, and then Mimosa Grill.

See the NASCAR Hall of Fame and go see a race at the speedway.

Drive down Wilkinson Blvd and go to Dairy Queen.

Take in a game of some sort, Panthers, Bobcats, Knights, Checkers.

Try your hand at one of the golf courses if you can get someone to let you in.

Go to Camden and watch the skateboarders dodge cars from Phatt Buritto or Common Market.

Enjoy a movie at Ballentyne Village Theater.

See whatever is happening at the Knight Theater, or McGlochin just because they are such cool venues.

Go find a houseboat and take a ride on Lake Norman.

and go to NoDa and eat at Cabo, enjoy the music and people at a gallery crawl. It is not the suburbs.