Sincere Prayer

Prayer can be rote. As I hear and repeat, The Lord's Prayer, I have to remind myself to slow down and mean the words. As I recently listened to one of my children say a blessing before a meal, I was reminded how easily meaningful communication can become simply habit. For example, saying," I love you." to a friend or family member, "I'm sorry." when you make a mistake, or "Call me." when you see a friend in public. Our communication with God is subject to the same plight.

My prayer life ebbs and flows. It takes a larger position in my day depending on my discipline. But even when I have a renewed commitment to spend time in prayer, I pray for the same things and move dangerously close to form over substance. I do mean it when I tell my husband, children, and family that I love them. And when I pray I really do want God to hear me and answer my prayer. I probably pray for the same things most people who believe in God do...keep my family safe and sound throughout the day, give us wisdom and understanding to make good decisions, make me productive and effective in my work day, forgive me for all of the mistakes yesterday and help me not make the same ones, give me focus, let me see and meet the needs of people around me, help me manage my health better, help my Mom find a buyer for her house... you get the point. I really want God's guidance and ear. But do I take time to hear him throughout the day? Do I follow my instincts during the day? Do I live my day in such a way that my prayers can be answered?

Words always need actions and I believe prayer does too. Saying "I love you" means more when my actions show I love my husband and family. There is a song or saying that talks of being a living prayer. Perhaps that is the most sincere prayer. Live the prayer you make. Live the words you pray.

What do you pray for??

Growth

Everyday is an opportunity to grow. I love that you go to bed every night a different person than the one who woke up. How does each day shape you? Who moves you? Who changes you? You don;t need a lightening bolt, or a cosmic event to grow. You just connect each day with something or someone. Writes borrow from such literary themes. Todd enjoyed star trek. The "Borg" assimilated the best of some race or person for the community greater good. In Harry Potter, the sword only takes in what makes it stronger. But in life, you take in everything. Some things make you stronger, other weak, compassionate, frightened, vulnerable. Unlike fictional characters, we can;t pick and choose what influences us. What did you learn today? What had an impact on you. Did you grow? My career and my family grant me opportunities everyday. I do not always take them. But none the less... everyday, I change. Let's all pray that it is for the best.

Micah 6.8. A call to justice

He has told you, O man, what is good;
and what does the Lord require of you
but to do justice, and to love kindness,
and to walk humbly with your God?

A wonderful Sunday School lesson today. An amazing group of speakers. The young speaking of their faith journey through high school, and the not so young, reminding them and us, that the journey starts again everyday. Marilyn Marks, retired recently from Saint Andrews Society. She used to be a teacher, a banker and then a soldier fighting hunger. She now searches for new ways to do justice in her life for God. Now, she says she wants to work less with policy and more personally with issues. But I loved how she talked about listening and following God's call every day. And not in the lightening bolt way, but in the small ways. And to do justice, not charity. It blended perfectly with Dr. Kort sermon calling us to decorate the world every day with small kindnesses.
Marilyn's path was not clear. I was moved when she spoke of how she had constantly moved from plain sight, to where she thought she could not be seen all through her life. And it took time for all the pieces of her life to fall into place to be have God use her life in a big way, while she simply lived her life. All while riding her Harley with her husband. At the end, one of the young speakers couldn't stop himself from exclaiming, "You are Awesome" as she finished. I agreed. Message delivered in a very personal and new way.

I hope I can show kindness and justice through both my work and my personal life. And by mentioning it publicly, I hope people hold me accountable.

March and almost April........Gone!?

My Husband started a new job at the beginning of March. He is happy, challenged and very motivated. It has taken him out of town for six, going on seven consecutive weeks. Of course, he hates the travel part and being away from home, but as far as jobs go, he is happy with the change. This change coincided with a particularly busy time in my practice, so I have used extreme powers of concentration to remember my name and what day it is. So it shouldn't shock me to wake up one day and find that it is Easter and the end of the month is this weekend. When I return to work after the Family Law Attorney's Annual Meeting, it will be May. And in June, I will have a rising Junior in High School. They sent a notice that she needs to order her class ring! Not to mention Clay will be 13 years old and I will officially be the parent to two teenagers.

While I was begging once again for someone to PLEASE slow the earth's rotation, it occurred to me that perhaps, I am missing the point. While the time appears to fly by, the proof of growth and change is all around me. My children are older, and they are constantly becoming more help around the home, more company to me, and more independent of me and Todd. How would I have gotten through the last six weeks if they were younger? So slowing time, would simply slow the growth and stop the change. So once again, I challenge and commit myself to enjoy each moment, even as it passes in a blur. But don't be offended if I drive by you in the neighborhood without waving or forget your birthday or even fail to show up for a dinner I planned. My powers of concentration are being used to stay in the correct lane and remember where I live.

Gone... with no reason.

In 1999, we sold our home in Cotswold. A neighbor had a friend who had always liked the look of the house. She saw it and made an offer. I had a toddler and a 4 year old. I had to keep the house clean for 1 day. I was thrilled. We moved to Hembstead. My only complaint with the new owner of my little home was that she tore out the boxwood shrubs we had so carefully nurtured back to health. She was moving her Mother in to care for her they lived there alone. She felt it was dangerous. Someone could hide behind them given how large they were and where they were located in front of the house.

She nursed her Mom through her death, moved on with her life, still lived in "my" home. My oldest Charlotte friend and reliable confidant still lives two doors down from my old home. So when Janet, its new owner disappeared on Sunday after dining with friends at the Liberty East, she called me. As the information has come to light, she has called. So I was so saddened to hear her body had been found not far from where her car was found days after her disappearance. The details are unknown, but it appears she was in the area related to her business and ran afoul of the wrong person/people. It took me back to the bushes. She was a careful and thoughtful person, who considered her surroundings and took heed for her safety. But it was not enough to save her in broad day light from someone who meant her harm. I feel vulnerable hearing of her death. I feel mortal. And yet, I feel resigned. We must do what we can to be safe... "Don't be a Victim" and all. But we have to live, love and give freely everyday.

A lesson can be taken from Janet's life. She was laughing with friends and headed to a family meal that last day. She spoke to her boyfriend and she went for food for her beloved pet. She was living right up to the end. And I hope she felt safe in the sunshine and did not see anything coming. I hope she felt no fear. I hope her family finds peace and answers. And I hope they can refocus on her life.... and not the manner of her death. I hope we all can focus on our lives and reach out to those around us.

God rest her soul and be with her family and friends again as they grieve anew.

Valentine's Day IS special.

The girl who does my nails, asked me what I was doing for Valentine's Day. Her response when I told her my husband had made dinner reservations at Fleming's, was, "Oh, what are you going to wear?". She is around 30 years old. I laughed when I told my husband that story. I did a good job applying fresh lipstick after working all day and taking Stephanie to her piano lesson. But as I walked through the restaurant that night, looking at all the couples in cocktail attire, sitting close and feeding one another dinner, I realized, it is a pretty great occasion. Not a bad reason to get dressed up and go out. Sure, it benefits florists, Hallmark, and Godiva more than anything, but an occasion to remember to tell someone you love them, is not all bad.

After over 20 years, Todd and I still remember the day with at least a card and dinner.. sometimes, gifts. But in our house, Valentine's Day is sandwiched between both of our birthdays and our anniversary. We tend to focus on the anniversary more than Valentine's Day. But the real opportunity of the day, is to share love with the ones around you. Valentine's Day tends to make those without romantic attachments feel alone. That is all the more reason to call friends and family who are important, wish them a Happy Valentine's Day, and make them feel loved.

Maybe next year I will go get a new dress. I suppose the occasion is only as special as you make it. And given my daily discourse with broken hearts, I should be an advocate for any opportunity to remind someone that they do matter and they are loved.

This is my kind of place.

I am sitting at Cabo Fish Taco. The gallery crawl is not until Friday night, but Stephanie is taking an art class at the Green Gallery in NoDa, so here I sit. I have already gone into two galleries and a shop. Even though it is not crowded, there is an energy to this area. The lights, the buzz, the people in dreadlocks next to the ones in Northface. I think the DNC got it right. Charlotte has a great deal to offer the people who come. Several arts districts, great food, suburbs and glitz, museums and a very shiny uptown.

If I had to make a list of where to take visitors, I would suggest the following, in no particular order.

Go walk the Plaza/Central area, enjoy Zada Jane's for brunch.

Visit the National Whitewater Center when they have summer bands.

Go see the Pops play at South Park.

Book at table at Zebra after a day of shopping at the South Park Mall.

Go check out the growing campus of UNCC and visit the observatory.

Drive through Myers Park and go to Freedom Park.

Walk the Greenway.

Go to McCoy's Saloon and Smokehouse and then go shoot arrows and the Barefoot Archery range to work off the mac n cheese.

Take the light rail and see the Mint, Bechtler, Harvey Gantt, New South and Discovery Place. Take breaks at Mertz Heart and Soul, and then Mimosa Grill.

See the NASCAR Hall of Fame and go see a race at the speedway.

Drive down Wilkinson Blvd and go to Dairy Queen.

Take in a game of some sort, Panthers, Bobcats, Knights, Checkers.

Try your hand at one of the golf courses if you can get someone to let you in.

Go to Camden and watch the skateboarders dodge cars from Phatt Buritto or Common Market.

Enjoy a movie at Ballentyne Village Theater.

See whatever is happening at the Knight Theater, or McGlochin just because they are such cool venues.

Go find a houseboat and take a ride on Lake Norman.

and go to NoDa and eat at Cabo, enjoy the music and people at a gallery crawl. It is not the suburbs.