I turned 45 years old Sunday. Today, I spent the afternoon at the Spa courtesy of my Husband and my Mother. Very relaxing. But one curse of having a birthday three days after Christmas and three days before New Year's Eve is that I am doomed to reflect on my past year and resolve myself to self improvement for the coming year. This year, my Father got into the act by writing a special card reminding me that Frank Lloyd Wright did most of his work in the last quarter of his life, designing the Guggenheim in his 70's. At least he didn't buy me a copy of one of those "1,000 Places, Songs, Movies, Books ect .... Before You Die" books.
My grandmother's passing at 90 had already made me quiet reflective. Obviously, I only knew her in the second act of her life and she had a tremendous impact on my life and the lives of many others around her. I was depressed when I turned 30. While I didn't feel old, I knew I was no longer young. Then I had my children and returned to the world of Dr. Seuss, Cinderella, Cheerios and Kindermusic. Somehow, I felt ageless with those little souls in my care. Even 40 was painless. Now, my husband and I share the home with two great young people with an eye towards the door and their own ambitions and dreams.
As I turn 45, I admit my thoughts have returned to the ambitions of my youth. What can I do? Where can I go? What can I accomplish? How much time is left? How can I look and feel young enough to reach the next chapters of my life? Do my youthful dreams and ambitions have a chance at this time in my life? I have absolutely no idea. I do know that it is the people and personal relationships in my life that mean the most. I also admit that as my family needs less and less of my time, I can see the opportunity to turn a new page for myself. And I know that with my family beside me, I will have the support to do as much as I can. Well, maybe that Broadway actress dream is a bit of a stretch now, but there were other plans that my youth made me too timid and self conscious to pursue. So I am resolved to embrace my new new year and all it offers. I certainly can't complain about the last forty four.
Hey, Colonel Sanders started KFC at 65. I still have time to learn to cook!
Monday, December 29, 2008
Sunday, December 14, 2008
A Lifetime of Memories
Dorthy Ervin Stratford was born February 1, 1918 and died on December 12, 2008. For more than forty years, she was my Grandmother. She lived her life fully. And in doing so, she made memories for all who knew her. She had a wonderful sense of humor. She read voraciously, did crossword puzzles daily, wrote notes and letters to friends and loved ones regularly, and gave of herself selflessly. She bragged about her family members with no shame. We were her world and she was proud of it. When I cleaned out her apartment when she moved into a nursing home, I found every post card and letter that I ever sent her. She saved clippings from the newspaper, programs from my dance recitals, the church announcements of my baptisms, and clippings from my Debutant days and my marriage. She loved to cook and especially craved sweets. She was one of the first people I wanted to call with any special news.
She taught me so many things over the years. I hear her voice in my head clearly. She stressed the importance of written thank you notes. She insisted that you dress appropriately for the occasion and your company. She reminded me that I would be judged by the company I kept and to choose wisely. She valued education and travel opportunities and encouraged me to reach as far as I could ever day. She reminded me to bow my head in prayer and remember to look to God in everything. She valued relationships and people more than things. She did for others and thoroughly enjoyed what others chose to do for her.
She was not perfect. She could be rigid. She needed attention and assurances that you loved her and valued her. She had a flair for the dramatic and was quite the hypochondriac. She was sicker than anyone had ever been if she fell ill. She could be judgmental. But she grew and remained open to change throughout her life. Most importantly, she made each of us feel we were special to her.
I will think of her every time I see a red bird, a layer cake, a chocolate peanut butter Easter egg, the National Inquirer, crossword puzzles, a well set table, Jepordy, the ball drop in Time's Square on New Year's Eve, amethysts, Billy Graham, a coffee percolator,Russel Stover Candy, Myrtle Beach, Charleston, Isle of Palms, Solitaire, snow flakes, sand dollars and shrimp cocktails. I will see her when I hear "Kansas City" play. In short, she is all around me every day.
Selfishly, I wanted even more of her. I wanted more of her for my children. But in her passing, I marvel at the impact her life had on her children, grandchildren, great grandchildren and her friends. She was present and she cared. For all of us who loved her, our greatest challenge will be to follow in her footsteps. To be a person who creates and builds memories for our family and friends by always being there for them. To be "Dot" for someone else.
She taught me so many things over the years. I hear her voice in my head clearly. She stressed the importance of written thank you notes. She insisted that you dress appropriately for the occasion and your company. She reminded me that I would be judged by the company I kept and to choose wisely. She valued education and travel opportunities and encouraged me to reach as far as I could ever day. She reminded me to bow my head in prayer and remember to look to God in everything. She valued relationships and people more than things. She did for others and thoroughly enjoyed what others chose to do for her.
She was not perfect. She could be rigid. She needed attention and assurances that you loved her and valued her. She had a flair for the dramatic and was quite the hypochondriac. She was sicker than anyone had ever been if she fell ill. She could be judgmental. But she grew and remained open to change throughout her life. Most importantly, she made each of us feel we were special to her.
I will think of her every time I see a red bird, a layer cake, a chocolate peanut butter Easter egg, the National Inquirer, crossword puzzles, a well set table, Jepordy, the ball drop in Time's Square on New Year's Eve, amethysts, Billy Graham, a coffee percolator,Russel Stover Candy, Myrtle Beach, Charleston, Isle of Palms, Solitaire, snow flakes, sand dollars and shrimp cocktails. I will see her when I hear "Kansas City" play. In short, she is all around me every day.
Selfishly, I wanted even more of her. I wanted more of her for my children. But in her passing, I marvel at the impact her life had on her children, grandchildren, great grandchildren and her friends. She was present and she cared. For all of us who loved her, our greatest challenge will be to follow in her footsteps. To be a person who creates and builds memories for our family and friends by always being there for them. To be "Dot" for someone else.
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