Forty Five and Counting

I turned 45 years old Sunday. Today, I spent the afternoon at the Spa courtesy of my Husband and my Mother. Very relaxing. But one curse of having a birthday three days after Christmas and three days before New Year's Eve is that I am doomed to reflect on my past year and resolve myself to self improvement for the coming year. This year, my Father got into the act by writing a special card reminding me that Frank Lloyd Wright did most of his work in the last quarter of his life, designing the Guggenheim in his 70's. At least he didn't buy me a copy of one of those "1,000 Places, Songs, Movies, Books ect .... Before You Die" books.

My grandmother's passing at 90 had already made me quiet reflective. Obviously, I only knew her in the second act of her life and she had a tremendous impact on my life and the lives of many others around her. I was depressed when I turned 30. While I didn't feel old, I knew I was no longer young. Then I had my children and returned to the world of Dr. Seuss, Cinderella, Cheerios and Kindermusic. Somehow, I felt ageless with those little souls in my care. Even 40 was painless. Now, my husband and I share the home with two great young people with an eye towards the door and their own ambitions and dreams.


As I turn 45, I admit my thoughts have returned to the ambitions of my youth. What can I do? Where can I go? What can I accomplish? How much time is left? How can I look and feel young enough to reach the next chapters of my life? Do my youthful dreams and ambitions have a chance at this time in my life? I have absolutely no idea. I do know that it is the people and personal relationships in my life that mean the most. I also admit that as my family needs less and less of my time, I can see the opportunity to turn a new page for myself. And I know that with my family beside me, I will have the support to do as much as I can. Well, maybe that Broadway actress dream is a bit of a stretch now, but there were other plans that my youth made me too timid and self conscious to pursue. So I am resolved to embrace my new new year and all it offers. I certainly can't complain about the last forty four.

Hey, Colonel Sanders started KFC at 65. I still have time to learn to cook!