A Lifetime of Memories

Dorthy Ervin Stratford was born February 1, 1918 and died on December 12, 2008. For more than forty years, she was my Grandmother. She lived her life fully. And in doing so, she made memories for all who knew her. She had a wonderful sense of humor. She read voraciously, did crossword puzzles daily, wrote notes and letters to friends and loved ones regularly, and gave of herself selflessly. She bragged about her family members with no shame. We were her world and she was proud of it. When I cleaned out her apartment when she moved into a nursing home, I found every post card and letter that I ever sent her. She saved clippings from the newspaper, programs from my dance recitals, the church announcements of my baptisms, and clippings from my Debutant days and my marriage. She loved to cook and especially craved sweets. She was one of the first people I wanted to call with any special news.

She taught me so many things over the years. I hear her voice in my head clearly. She stressed the importance of written thank you notes. She insisted that you dress appropriately for the occasion and your company. She reminded me that I would be judged by the company I kept and to choose wisely. She valued education and travel opportunities and encouraged me to reach as far as I could ever day. She reminded me to bow my head in prayer and remember to look to God in everything. She valued relationships and people more than things. She did for others and thoroughly enjoyed what others chose to do for her.

She was not perfect. She could be rigid. She needed attention and assurances that you loved her and valued her. She had a flair for the dramatic and was quite the hypochondriac. She was sicker than anyone had ever been if she fell ill. She could be judgmental. But she grew and remained open to change throughout her life. Most importantly, she made each of us feel we were special to her.

I will think of her every time I see a red bird, a layer cake, a chocolate peanut butter Easter egg, the National Inquirer, crossword puzzles, a well set table, Jepordy, the ball drop in Time's Square on New Year's Eve, amethysts, Billy Graham, a coffee percolator,Russel Stover Candy, Myrtle Beach, Charleston, Isle of Palms, Solitaire, snow flakes, sand dollars and shrimp cocktails. I will see her when I hear "Kansas City" play. In short, she is all around me every day.

Selfishly, I wanted even more of her. I wanted more of her for my children. But in her passing, I marvel at the impact her life had on her children, grandchildren, great grandchildren and her friends. She was present and she cared. For all of us who loved her, our greatest challenge will be to follow in her footsteps. To be a person who creates and builds memories for our family and friends by always being there for them. To be "Dot" for someone else.